All tagged Sarcasm Font

I Got An Epidural

12:00 p.m.

My phone vibrated: “Are you in labor yet?”

It was one of five similar texts I had received within a span of 48 hours. Never mind I was still four days away from my due date, or the fact that if I was in labor I can guarantee my first act of preparing to push a kid out of my hoohah would notbe to get on my phone to play catch up: hey how’s your Monday going my womb is contracting *smiley face emoji*.

But behind all that #SarcasmFont I smiled. Our baby was already so loved.

That One Time I Accused My Husband of Never Helping Me While He Was Helping Me

I took our kids to the grocery store last week after school.

One child - who shall remain nameless – whined incessantly up and down every single aisle. I almost set her on the Clearance rack next to all of the weirdly flavored jars of jelly that will eventually end up in landfills and walked away.

With blood, sweat, and only a few tears of my own, I managed to get our bags of groceries into the car, as well as our children.

On the way home, the Whiny One Who Shall Not Be Named was given orders to remain silent – lest her words be used against her in all future decisions on the writing of our family’s will.

And it worked – mostly because there was a bribe for cheese crackers included. At least, it worked until she started screaming that she had to go potty.

What Happens in Labor and Delivery, Stays There {My Doctor Promised}

They call them rainbow babies, those gifts from God that come after the long, dark storm. I think the moment they lay Levi Daniel in my arms feels exactly like a rainbow: tears falling like rain, but the sun rays of happiness for this gift of a child shining brilliantly over the grief of our past.

I cry and cry and say over and over to Husband, “I feel so happy!”

And just like that, I can’t imagine our lives without him. All nine pounds, ten ounces, and three chins of him.