I Didn't Want to Go to Church

Just a few days after our 20 week ultrasound and receiving the horrible news surrounding our unborn baby it became Sunday. My initial reaction was to want to stay away: from church, from people, from the awkward conversations, from the reminders of the pain we were experiencing. But God laid this message on my heart. Indeed, there are times to be alone. But I believe the church is one of God's gifts of comfort to us: A whole big group of broken people who are Christ's hands and feet to us. Who have experienced all sorts of pain in their own lives, and yet are willing to help carry our burden and share in our pain with us. Thank you, Lord, for Your church. {And thank you, Friends, for not only being that church to us, but also for your continued prayers as we await test results. The days. are. dragging.}

Just a few days after our 20 week ultrasound and receiving the horrible news surrounding our unborn baby it became Sunday. My initial reaction was to want to stay away: from church, from people, from the awkward conversations, from the reminders of the pain we were experiencing. But God laid this message on my heart. Indeed, there are times to be alone. But I believe the church is one of God's gifts of comfort to us: A whole big group of broken people who are Christ's hands and feet to us. Who have experienced all sorts of pain in their own lives, and yet are willing to help carry our burden and share in our pain with us. Thank you, Lord, for Your church. {And thank you, Friends, for not only being that church to us, but also for your continued prayers as we await test results. The days. are. dragging.}

 

I didn't want to go to church. I wept to God on high:

“Lord can’t You see the pain I’m in? Don’t You hear my cries?”

 

God said, “My child, come to Me, and I will give you rest.

I know you don’t understand right now, but I know what is best.”

 

“But Lord, all I’ll do is cry. The music, the message, the people.

Just let me be alone right now. Away from under the steeple.

It’s awkward and uncomfortable. They will understand.

They'll probably feel awkward too, not knowing how to lend a hand.”

 

“I know,” God said to me today, “It’s an uncomfortable place to be.

But when you cast your cares on Me, they are My hands and feet.

My church will cry out with you, the same sad tears of pain.

My people are My gift to you, a gift of comfort in My Name.

 

“And that sermon you don’t want to hear, in this Lenten season,

Do you forget so quickly, My Son who is the reason?

The ultimate pain and death He faced, to take your sin away,

Your pain is only temporary. Hold tight until that Day.

Remember that your anguish, He not only felt but defeated,

And though the days are full of darkness, that will all soon be deleted.

 

“And let the music wash over your soul. Don’t hold back the tears,

My church is best filled with brokenness, a desire to draw Me near.

All have had their share of hurt, there are no perfect people,

As much as we love laughter, sorrow has been with all under this steeple.

 

“My grace you’ll only find within My Body and from Me,

Don’t run away; please come and stay. In My arms you will see.

And drawing from their strength, you’ll begin to find My peace,

My Body is made of many, it needs all members lest it cease.

 

“You don’t have to hide from pain. Don’t pretend that it’s not there,

Each tear you cry, when you can’t find words, to Me is a sweet, sweet prayer.

I know you don’t want to go to church, and there are times to be alone,

But My church, My beloved Bride, will guide you towards My throne.

 

"Hold on to My promises; and let My people carry you,

You will never be abandoned, I will always see you through.”

 

I didn't want to go to church. God led me anyway.

Indeed, I wept with each word the songs and message had to say.

But the Body drew us in, into their warm embrace.

Lord thank You for Your church. It's through them we see Your face.